


Shovel, Meet Dirt.

by Autumn_Froste, DrRJSB



Category: Black Widow (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Natasha Romanov, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banne and Hulk Get Along, Bruce Banner Angst, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Banner Has Daddy Issues, Bruce Banner Is a Good Son, Bruce Banner and Hulk Get Along, F/M, General Ross is a dick, Institutionalized Brian Banner, Monsters in love, Natasha Romanov Feels, Protective Natasha Romanov, Schadenfreude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 13:42:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11692845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autumn_Froste/pseuds/Autumn_Froste, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrRJSB/pseuds/DrRJSB
Summary: Natasha makes sure Brian Banner doesn't have control over Bruce any longer. Sometimes it takes a Monster to show someone what a REAL Monster looks like.





	1. Chapter 1

“Who are you?” the shackled man asked with a glare at the attractive woman already seated at the table as he was escorted to his bolted-down chair by the guards.

Her face remained emotionless as did her voice as she said, “Hello, Brian.” She took a sip of her coffee, her bright red lipstick leaving a light residue on the cup.

Brian Banner grew angered as she, an obviously much younger looking woman in her late twenties or so, called him by his first name—no honorific, no nothing—just, Brian. His eyes narrowed. “You should respect your elders,” he snapped, playing his poor-old-man trump card. “That’s Mister Banner to you.”

A side of her mouth ever so slightly curled up to the side to show a pearly flash of white, “To answer your first question, I’m Natasha Romanoff. Secondly, I only respect those who deserve it, and you, Brian, are far from deserving of my respect. Thirdly, I would have thought you would have insisted upon being called ‘Doctor’.” She looked at him placidly, letting the dig at his former profession sink in deliciously deep.

He did his best to stare her down with his rheumy eyes, but he finally squirmed under her inscrutable gaze. “I’d watch my back if I were you.” It was meant to be an intimidating threat, but it came out as more of a whine. Even he knew it didn’t impress her. The former scientist sneered at his unwelcomed visitor again with an arrogant jerk of his head. He was behind bars, but he still had his resources and allies beyond the prison walls who might do him a quiet little favor. Some of them would especially enjoy this attractive of a toy to play with before completing the job.

She picked up the coffee she’d set down in front of her and turned her head slightly to the side studying him, “I’d watch my front if I were you.” She observed the arteries in his neck and temple as his heart rate visibly picked up. She leaned back comfortably in her chair, sipping on her coffee. She gave off the appearance of not only being content in a Maximum Security Asylum, but she was completely at ease with Brian himself. Most of the employees, including the male guards, viewed him as a danger, a nasty piece of work to avoid when possible.

The convicted murderer sat there scrutinizing everything about his visitor for the next few minutes. She stayed composed and never looked away. She watched him, watch her.

The old man finally wrinkled his nose. “You smell different. It’s not a perfume, and it’s not in that, ‘all redheads have a different scent sort of smell’ way either.”

She slightly shrugged her shoulder, “Redheads are mutants by nature.”

“That’s not it,” he paused. “Come closer.”

Natasha stayed where she was in her seat, sipping her coffee. The placid expression having returned to her face, “Why would I do that?”

Eyes glittering with sudden excitement, Brian smiled, “The better to smell you with, my dear girl.” His teeth glistened in the institutional lighting as he dared her to get closer. Curious about his new tactic, she went ahead and leaned nearer with her elbows on the table. He grinned triumphantly, “You smell a bit like Erskine’s chemicals.”

“I see experimenting on one’s self tends to run in the family,” she said blandly.

The old man’s features grew enraged in a heartbeat. “I knew it. That’s the other smell! You smell like that sorry excuse for a son I have!”

The smallest of smiles flitted across her lips as he lost control. “Do you mean the one who is out of jail, happy, healthy, an Avenger, a brilliant scientist, best friends with Tony Stark . . . do I need to keep going?” Nat blinked cooly and smiled. “The one who eclipsed you in brilliance both in and outside of a laboratory?”

“If he’s got you for a piece of ass, I suppose he has to be doing something right, but then again from what I hear, your kill count, Ms. Romanoff, is even higher than Hulk’s.” He arrogantly jerked his chin upward again, attempting to look down his nose at her. “Humph, perhaps it takes a monster to love one?”

Nat’s mouth curved up into her own slightly psychotic grin, “Brian, my dear, don’t flatter yourself. You’d have to live an awfully long time to reach my body count numbers. Not that your own contributions and ‘experiments’ don’t put you in the running, but something so impersonal as a bomb hardly qualifies you for the club—it’s the treachery of murdering someone you supposedly loved with your own bare hands that puts you into a whole different category.” Brian looked stunned for a moment before anger again crowded out the other emotions on his face.

Natasha leaned slightly closer to him, and this time she grabbed his wrist in an inhuman grasp, so he couldn’t escape. “Let me tell you a secret. Do you like secrets, Brian?” she asked him in a low voice that caught him by surprise. The assassin squeezed harder to remind him he was supposed to answer.

“Ye—Yes!” he gasped.

“I thought so. Everyone likes secrets.” She smiled mysteriously at him, “No, lean a little closer because I want to make sure you hear and understand everything I’m about to tell you.” She tilted her head while she waited for him to lean forward. His tough exterior failed under the threat of a female smaller in stature than his dead wife—the woman he murdered, his own son’s mother.

“Can you hear me okay, Brian?” she prompted. He could only nod. “What was that?”

“Ye—Yes!”

“Good. Just making sure you and I are on the same page. No one keeps secrets from me for very long. I will gnaw away at you until all that’s left of you is bone; on that bone, there will be teeth marks, deep ones. I’ll find out the truth of what you’ve been hiding or anyone else for that matter, and I don’t mind going to the extreme. Hell, sometimes,” she smiled softly at him, “I even like it and then—and only after you’ve given me everything I need and want will I let you go. I may let you live after. Most likely you’ll choose death.”

She kept a tight grip on him while she pushed her thumb on the pressure point on his wrist, causing him immense pain. “I think I owe you the truth about something, Brian. It’s only fair. It’s about Bruce.” She lightened up on his wrist slightly, “You with me?” He nodded. “Just checking. You see, Bruce, I love Bruce, but he fears the Hulk. To him, Hulk is his Monster. He comes out when Bruce is afraid, and I blame you for that. You were jealous of your own son. He was smarter than you. His mother paid him more attention than you. You treated both Bruce and Rebecca like shit. You mentally and physically abused both of them, then murdered the child’s mother in front of him. He wasn’t allowed a proper childhood full of love like children are supposed to have. If you’d just let Rebecca leave with Bruce, he’d have at least stood a chance, but you robbed him of all of that. Because of all of that baggage, he started down the road that led to the accident, that led to Hulk. Believe me, it doesn’t take a psychiatrist to trace it all back to dear old Dad.” She let that sink in a moment. “It’s about time someone held you accountable.”

“Then there’s me.” She squeezed Brian’s wrist tighter and he whimpered, biting down on his lower lip. “I didn’t have a proper childhood either. I grew up learning how to get information, seduce, and murder. I’ve learned how to use those skills wisely. But you see, the difference between Bruce and me, he wears his Monster on the inside for when situations arise that Hulk decides Bruce can’t handle. He protects Bruce. I wear my Monster on the outside. She’s always with me and you know what? I’m okay with that because our Monsters get along fabulously.” She gave him a full grin.

“Now, I’m making you a promise. If one hair on Bruce’s head comes to harm or even gets out of place and I suspect you’re behind it, I’m the one you’ll be answering to. If you do something stupid like send someone to hurt us or communicate to people like General Ross in any way, you will get to see an up close and personal demonstration of what my Monster can and will do to protect the people I care about. Let me make this crystal clear, if you thought the Hulk was a Monster, just wait till you meet the Monster that loves him.”

Her hand casually slipped into the old man’s, grasping it in a handshake, and somehow a business card was produced in that very same hand.

She smiled pleasantly at him, “If you’re ever tempted to contact Bruce again, those are my numbers. You can leave a message or talk to FRIDAY. She’s very good at what she does if I’m unavailable. Being an Avenger is very busy work, you know, and I’ll decide if it’s worth your son’s time and trouble to deal with you. You suggested it takes a Monster to love a Monster. Maybe that’s true, but it also takes a real Monster to put the second-rate ones in their place.”

She stood up from the table and walked toward the door before turning back to him, “Have a good day, Brian, and thank you for your cooperation.” She knocked on the door and waited for the guard, before turning back to him, “By the way, I grew up under Stalin, so don’t waste your seniority card next time.” She almost laughed at his shocked expression. “You’re a scientist, you should know better than to make assumptions.”

The door to the room opened, and she walked out, quite certain of her Monster’s and her own place in the world.


	2. Dirt, Meet Legend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been six months since Natasha had a talk with Brian Banner about staying out of his son Bruce's life. She warned him to contact her if anyone asked about Bruce, but the asylum inmate didn't follow through with his promise. BIG mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Autumn_Froste did it again! Never show me a draft with a Natasha head canon involving her looking after Bruce because I can't keep my hands off it.
> 
> This story doesn't entirely fit with the Special Needs timeline because Bruce's father died in the asylum, but the characters are otherwise the same.
> 
> Enjoy!

She was still bleeding from the fight she’d been in earlier when the white uniformed guards escorted the aging scientist into the interrogation room for her. The guards dropped him in the metal chair that was bolted to the floor and tried to back away as quickly as they could. The old guy gave off a bad vibe, and he had a worse reputation. The two burly males smartly took one glance at the woman seated opposite Brian Banner with her back to the wall and easily decided they didn't want to be that close to the redheaded, pissed-off Avenger either. As required, they had delivered the inmate, so they each mumbled their apologies and retreated to their positions by the door as quickly as possible. Getting caught in the crossfire between these two bitter combatants wasn’t in their job description.

“What took so long?” she asked, addressing the cowed guards just as much as she was Brian Banner himself. While the former government scientist didn’t look quite as pants-pissingly frightened as they did, the guards were still considering the blood-covered woman before them with wary eyes, quickly discovering most of the blood wasn't hers. This made them want to be involved in whatever beef she had with Brian Banner even less.

The old man hesitated and took a few moments to look her over while she stared him down with a completely blank expression. He’d already made the mistake of underestimating her during their first meeting about six months ago, but now… now, he was slowly beginning to realize exactly how much. He thought on her last visit that her face hadn’t given anything away because she wouldn’t be able to back up her threats, but he had been wrong. Now, he was about to find out how dead wrong he was to have called her bluff.

“I take it you got into a little tussle and you want to blame me for it, Natalia of the Red Room?” the older man asked, mostly to buy time and get a rise out of her. He noticed the cut above her left eye was slowly healing right in front of him. If he hadn't been watching so intently, he might have missed it.

She smiled sweetly, her chin balanced on her hand. “I don’t _want_ to blame you,” she paused staring at him, warmly, “but I just can’t help myself. I _do_ blame you for it.”

“What makes you think I had a thing to do with anything outside this facility? I’m locked up in here!” He waved his hands around, growing more nervous by the millisecond. _What did she know?_

At this Nat broke out into a laugh, an actual full belly laugh that nearly had her doubled over. “Whew, I’m sorry,” she finally said and wiped a tear from her eye. “You ever hear the phrase, ‘Crazy, not stupid,’ Brian?” He nodded and swallowed. “That’s most people who are locked up in asylums. The people who work here get used to their behaviors, their idiosyncrasies, and they begin treating them like the wild wolf they think they've tamed and then begin to feed scraps closer and closer to their house until the wolf has made its way all the way inside. They forget the wolf is still feral and the reason it’s been kept away from everyone else is because,” she shrugged, “… maybe it did something truly savage, and it just isn't going to be tamed.” She leaned back in her seat and raised an eyebrow at him.  

Brian Banner relaxed in his chair, feeling a little more in his element now. Sneering at her, he proclaimed, “Let me guess, I’m the wolf and I’ve bitten _someone_?” He sighed loudly, “Really, this is a rather stupid analogy, Ms. Romanoff. I expected more …”

She slammed both her fists on the table in front of him, jarring it even closer to him as the anchoring screws gave way. “No, you insignificant little cunt. _I’m_ the wolf and you’re my dinner!” She slammed his face into the table before grabbing herself a handful of his hair and dragging him out of his chair and across the table. With her left hand, she forced his right arm to the middle of his back, pinning him to the tabletop. The former assassin held a knife in front of his eyes so the man would see it, swinging the blade casually back and forth like a pendulum between her fingers.

While pinned to the metal surface, he couldn't get any purchase, so the man had no choice but to stay subdued and helpless since she didn’t seem to be wavering and the guards had chosen self-preservation over saving his sorry ass.

“Remember our last discussion, Brian?” He didn’t say anything. “Bri-an,” she said in a creepily singsong way, “remember what we talked about?”

He was finally able to get out a sound that resembled “Yes.” She smiled an evil crooked smile down at him, “What did I say you were supposed to do if you heard from General Ross or anyone else inquiring about Bruce?”

“To—To call you.” The tears were starting to spill from his eyes, not because of anything he’d done to his son. The situation was much worse than he’d thought. The redheaded spy definitely knew!

“But did you?” Natasha sounded as if she was scolding a five year old.

“Nnn—No!” he sobbed.

“Why is that, Brian? And I’m not in the mood to be lied to. That's already happened today and well, as you can tell from my uniform, that didn't go so well. So at this point,” she set her jaw and flipped him over so he was facing her, his back against the cold table. “To be totally honest, there’s a pretty good chance I may just rip off your own arm and beat you to death right here and now. I don’t think these two gentlemen by the door would object.” She glanced up at the guards who were frozen in place. She pressed her knife against his throat. Suddenly, her face softened and she gave the old man a sweet smile as she leaned closer down to him. “It’s really up to you. So, now that I’m here, how truthful are you going to be with me, Brian?”

To watch someone manipulate her own emotions and expressions like that was one of the scariest things the older Banner had ever seen. After her first visit, he’d called in a few of the favors he had left to find out everything he could about what was going on in his son’s and this Romanoff woman’s lives. Before long he’d gone back to doing a few odd jobs here and there he could get away with while inside the asylum for less than scrupulous people like Ross. Consulting work kept him comfortable and well informed about what he was missing in the outside world, especially about his monstrous progeny. However, in his current painful position against the cold metal surface of the interview table, he realized something very important. He’d fucked up. He’d fucked up horribly. He’d fucked up so badly, he might be about to die. His remorseful tears and other fluids were running down his face and pooling under his head as he sobbed.

Whereas Bruce might turn into a physical monster, Natasha Romanoff, the former scientist had discovered, was an actual legend who lived up to the tales of seduction, espionage, and murder Brian’s sources had reported. She was _THE Black Widow_. Russia retired the mantle after her: she was _that_ good. Even before the woman received the serum, she was an amazing student by all accounts. Now, he’d gone and done something stupid—not only had he gotten back on her radar, he’d pissed her off.

His sources reported she had been administered a working albeit not perfect serum. Natasha was only about ten years younger than Steve Rogers; however, while Rogers slept for seventy years, she trained and completed missions, hundreds, possibly thousands of operations. As a child, Natasha killed her first man. There was no wonder why Ross had wanted to make sure Bruce and Romanoff were never together. Teamed up, they were potentially an unstoppable force. Even without the destructive power of the monster, his son’s brilliance and her cunning … They could take over countries if they wanted. War Dogs and Black Ops be damned, they could have had the world on its knees via seduction, sedition, and force. A wave of disappointment and jealousy swept through his guts.

The former spy exhaled an exasperated breath, “Bri-an? You there?”

The old man had had enough of covering up. “Thunderbolt wanted me to look at a prototype weapon and tell him what was wrong with it since Stark’s out of the arms business. Clean energy or some save-the-world bullshit now. Ross told me if I didn’t cooperate, things would get worse. Said he knew about you and Bruce and how disgusting it was. You’d think he’d drop it once his daughter was out of the picture.” Natasha applied a little more pressure to keep the older Banner on track, and he gritted his teeth as he got her message, the wound from her arm dripping blood onto his shirt. “Ross brought me a slide to examine, so I could verify your treatment. Let’s just say he got a bit more interested when I told him about you having a different strain of super-soldier serum than Rogers running through those veins of yours.”

The old man could see it. She broke into a wide smile. “If the blowhard thinks that plan’s going to work, he’s a bigger idiot than I thought. He really is stupid.” That was all she needed from the inmate. Natasha stood up to leave, blood droplets dripping to the floor from a saturated bandage as she relaxed her grip and stepped back. “Next time he comes in, give him this.”

“Oh-Okay,” the shocked inmate answered shakily as he adjusted to the fact he wasn’t going to die today.

She handed him a flat 9” x 12” box wrapped with homemade paper and a red ribbon tied in a bow on top. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

Nat turned to walk out of the room. She gave the old man a last glance over her shoulder. “Brian, he’ll open it in front of you. Don’t worry. I know you want to know what’s in it. It’s not deadly or harmful. It’s just a little joke between the General and me. Keep it safe till then.”

“I-I will,” he stammered. “Y-you better get that arm looked after.”

“That’s sweet of you to notice. I wouldn’t worry though. Your son takes excellent care of me.”

He nodded and held himself together until she’d passed through the doorway. Brian Banner fell into a shaky, hyperventilating heap as she walked down the tiled corridor. He could hear her chuckling softly as her steps echoed from further and further away from him. It was all he could do not to soil himself.

~*~

“Do you think he knows anything?” Cap asked from the next room as Bruce finished bandaging Natasha’s arm. She’d stripped out of her bloodied uniform and taken a quick shower in the infirmary's bathroom to get the grime off once he had the bleeding stopped and applied liquid stitches. The wound had looked dramatic for the interview, but she was already starting to heal as she walked out. The fact that it had made a convincing prop for their little charade at the asylum was like getting her cake and sharing it with Bruce, but he clearly didn’t quite see it that way.

“Nothing substantial,” Natasha responded to Steve’s query. She’d left the door to the infirmary bathroom open, so they could still talk while Bruce worked and fussed over her arm. Her Doc was so cute when he was being protective like this. Bruce refused to come out of his huff until she pulled him close and gave him a lingering kiss on the mouth. He resisted at first, but not for long. She ran her fingers through the curls at the back of his neck, enjoying the feel of his fingers digging possessively into her hips.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Bruce whispered in a low voice, so the others couldn’t hear.

“Sorry,” she said with a crooked smile. Bruce sighed and shook his head. “Down payment for later, Doc.”

Some days he just wanted to layer her in bubble wrap and have Hulk hold her down safe in one spot. Like that was ever going to happen. He rolled his eyes and then gathered up the remaining medical supplies before he left her to finish putting herself in order.

“It’s probably like he said,” Tony remarked. The engineer had his feet propped up on a table, waiting for the pizzas they’d ordered and eating popcorn in the meantime. “Ross asked him about the design build of something, and he did come clean to you.” Tony tossed a few kernels in the air and caught them all in his mouth. “Ross probably promised him time off his sentence or some bullshit like that,” the engineer speculated. The mention of that made Bruce visibly cringe as he closed the infirmary’s supply cabinet.

Hair still on the damp side, Natasha joined her teammates in the larger room. “No,” Nat shook her head, “there's more to it than that. I just can't put my finger on it.”

“Ross wants what he always wants,” Bruce said from across the room as he leaned back against a cabinet. “Me.”

Nat walked over to him and ran her fingers down his worried face, “I’ll be the first to tell him, ‘No,’ because you’re _mine_.” She pulled him closer down to her and kissed his forehead. “I thought we had this talk last night. Do we need another one of ‘those’ talks?”

He slid his arms around her and finally smiled. “It’s not like I’d protest having another one of those talks a little later.”

“I didn’t think you would, Doc. I’ve been told I have a special way of saying things.” He affirmed that by holding her just a bit closer.

Cap cleared his throat, “Pizza first. ‘Talking’ or fondue or whatever later.”

“Hold, friend, I desire to hear what Natasha has to say,” Thor started to object.

“Trust me, Thor. No, you don’t,” Clint advised as he guided the Asgardian out the door and the rest of the team followed. 

~*~ **Two Weeks Later**

“Thunderbolt's there!” Tony yelled excitedly from the Commons living room, upping the volume on the feed from their surveillance equipment as Nat’s plan finally paid off.

They’d received the tip from their source at the institution about an hour ago, so they were all close by. The team members settled quickly in front of the large display in the living room, so they could view the conversation between Gen. Thaddeus Ross and Brian Banner. The lone exception was Bruce who’d settled near the door instead, leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest because he felt too agitated to sit.

“What do you mean she gave you this to give to me?” Ross growled as he eyed the flat box Natasha had left with the inmate.

“Romanoff said to give you the box. It was a joke between the two of you. It wasn't going to hurt you or anything,” the former scientist declared with an arrogant sneer. He looked absolutely bored by the conversation now that his bravado had returned. “Open the damn box or let me go back to my cell, General.”

Ross glared at the other man before setting the box on the table and gingerly untying the perfect red bow. Inside the container were several sets of official papers. On top was a page of Tony Stark’s personal stationary with a nicely rendered sketch of a black widow spider and a radiation symbol beside it surrounded with numerous hearts. Ross crumpled it in his fist and threw the wadded page on the table. Brian Banner scooped it up and uncrumpled the paper. He smoothed it out and smirked at the drawing. Even he thought this was going to be good entertainment.

The first attached set of documents was an interstate restraining order instructing Ross to stay fifty or more yards away from Robert Bruce Banner aka “The Hulk.” The second was an official brevet demotion removing one of his stars as a U.S. General, which was signed by the Secretary of the Army. Ross’s face paled at that. The third was an official statement from the World Council of Nations to cease and desist from harassment of any and all Avengers, Defenders, “mutants,” “Inhumans,” and other “enhanced” individuals and teams. For years Council members had heard rumors and now they had proof that Ross's means of doing business was unsavory and unethical; therefore, they were withdrawing past authorizations and severing ties with him and his representatives. Many of the signers included addendums that went further with their sanctions. One noted that if possible her nation would find him a cell underneath their lowest prison after discovering he’d condoned and in some cases authorized experimentation on and destruction of numerous “normal” individuals as well as those with special abilities. Others made it clear Ross and his representatives were no longer welcomed past their borders. Ross was officially persona non grata in 90% of the nations on the globe.

“I didn't know a man's ears could turn that red that fast,” Pepper observed from the doorway where she stood supportively beside Bruce.

From his front row seat, the engineer snorted. “It was that beet red look we were going for, was it not, Tasha?”

“I believe it was, Tony,” the redhead said dryly.

“Verily, your goal has been met and then some if one might judge by the villain’s entire countenance,” the Thunder God cheerily admonished.

Steve was trying hard not to crack up, but he was soon chuckling behind his hand. Clint slapped his back and started laughing in anticipation, “Oh, get ready! Here it comes.”

The same burly guards as before opened the door, and a smartly dressed green-haired man with blue skin walked into the room and handed the apoplectic military man another envelope. “What the Hell is this?” Ross demanded with a roar.

The colorful official gave him a full-toothed smile, “General Ross, you've been served.”

Tony and Nat high-fived each other and the others cheered and laughed.

Bruce had come forward to join Natasha on the couch, and he sat there dumbfounded. “What does this mean?”

Nat squeezed his arm, “He can't touch you, Babe. He can't have someone else do it either. Ross won’t be bothering you again unless he goes completely rogue. If that happens, we can absolutely nail his ass.”

Clint put his hand on Bruce's shoulder. “You're free, buddy.” The archer grinned at the dazed scientist, “Well, at least as free as the rest of us are.”

“I'm not going to tell you there won't always be someone gunning for you,” Nat said, “but that son of a bitch will be tied up in court and jail. He'll be too busy to think of anything else. We made sure of it. He liked the Raft so much. Well, he’ll get to enjoy a prison _I_ designed.”

Bruce smiled as the reality hit home, “I just, I …”

Tony stood up followed by everyone else but Nat, “Put the words together later, bud. Let it sink in. Give it a few days and get back to us.” The guys patted Bruce on the back or arm on their way out the door while Pepper lingered a moment to give him a hug.

Then, Bruce turned to Nat, “Thank you. I have no idea how to thank you properly for this.”

“I can think of a few …” Natasha winked at him, knowing all of them involved going back to the privacy of their apartment.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's pure Schadenfreude Porn, but we all have to see Nat take Ross down if not out.


	3. Monster Loves Legend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian Banner thinks he has a way of finally getting at Bruce. Natasha and her scientist think otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, we just keep thinking of these and Autumn_Froste writes a draft and I can't help myself!

Bruce read through the email one more time before shoving his phone in his pocket. “Are you sure this is something you want to do?” Nat asked him as they stood in the Commons kitchen, comparing notes and grabbing a cup of coffee.

Bruce gave her a crooked, shaky smile before shrugging his shoulders, “Yes and no.”

“It’s okay not to want to talk to him. Hell, it’s okay not to talk to him at all. I made you a promise that I’d handle him, and I’ve been doing that just fine,” the redhead reminded him. She gave Bruce one of their secret smiles. “I don’t think he likes my Monster too much though.”

“It’s okay, I have no doubt you’re handling it. By the way, I happen to love your Monster. She’s just as terrifying as mine.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his hands on top of the shapely curves of her ass. Nat raised an incredulous eyebrow. Bruce chuckled, “Okay, you’re right. Yours is more terrifying. She plans and likes to play people like they’re chess pieces. I can appreciate that.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t know how to break it to you, but I do that when I’m not being her, that’s just me being me. You always have to look at ALL the pictures—the big one, the hundreds or thousands of small ones, and then there’s those that are the small pictures within the big picture—they all make a mural. Sometimes that mural can be the size of a skyscraper, too. See where I’m going with this?” Bruce nodded as he listened. “Love, I learned it as a child, and I don’t see me getting out of the habit anytime soon. You have to be prepared for everything. Just pretend it’s String Theory if that makes more sense, okay?” She kissed him on the nose.

Bruce gave her a look that said, Yeah, I know. “You do realize I understand how to play chess and map ecosystems?”

Nat got as close to a sigh as she ever did with Bruce. “Then pretend you’re playing Interdimensional Chess.” Bruce’s brow furrowed slightly. “Ah, see? The rules change a bit, do they not?”

“I don’t know how you keep track of all your pieces,” Bruce said as he shrugged again and shook his head. He was about to kiss her, but he sensed others were in the room now.

“Okay, I’ve been standing here listening to your comparison, Nat, and I still don’t get it. How about a little less genius or whatever you want to call that,” Sam waved his hand around in a circular motion, “and give me the teen-rated game version.” He gave both of them an exasperated look and poured himself a cup of coffee.

Nat fought off giving Sam an eye roll, but she couldn’t keep the sigh out of her voice, “Okay, fine, how about this? Think of the people involved as Sims.” She knew Sam, Steve, and a few of their other teammates played that set of games. “They rarely do what you want, and you have to push them into being your chess characters, so you can at least force them into playing by the rules already set by the pieces you’ve assigned them?”

“So a pawn moves or acts like a pawn, and a bishop moves or acts like a bishop.” Sam turned around, holding his coffee in hand. “See that? That, I got.” He gave her a thumbs up.

“I even got that,” Steve said, sounding a little under caffeinated as Sam handed him a fresh mug from the cabinet.

“Ha! As did I!” Thor added cheerily as he walked through the doorway. “Is it time to fire up the games already? I’ve been practicing on your tiny controller and nunchuck device, so I’m ready to bowl!”

Natasha reached down and grabbed Bruce’s hand. The kitchen was getting a little too crowded. “Come on. We still have plenty of time before we need to leave.”

“What are you proposing?” Bruce asked, his voice dropping a bit.

“I don’t know. What are you offering?” she responded teasingly.

~*~

_I’m right here. You’ll do fine. It won’t hurt him if you scare the shit out of him either. Might do him some good. Remember, I love you. No matter what._ Bruce smiled as he heard Nat’s husky voice in his ear. He texted her back an “I love you!” and “What do you want to do for dinner?” while he sat there in the interrogation room and waited for his visit with his father. He smiled from ear to ear when Nat responded back with a simple, _Me?_  

The next moment, the old scientist entered the sparsely-furnished room escorted by two large orderlies who reminded Bruce of Korg the Kronan minus the rocky alien’s charming sense of humor. Today, Brian Banner was wearing shackles on his ankles as well as chains and cuffs on his thin wrists. The guards fastened his restraints to the metal rod which ran along the top of the table and in turn was bolted into the floor. Bruce wasn’t sure if that was for his protection or the old man’s just in case Hulk wanted to throw him across the room. Once Brian Banner was seated and secured, the guards stationed themselves by the door, and the father and son both stared at each other for a few minutes. Time, Bruce decided, had not treated the older Banner so well.

“Alright, Pop. You wanted to see me about fixing some problem I have. Well, here I am.” Bruce took a sip from the paper cup he’d brought with him, “So, how are you?”

“Just fine, son. You seem happy. You were smiling. What’s that about?” Brian asked gruffly as he kept eyeing the physicist seated across the table from him.

“I was making plans for later,” Bruce shrugged noncommittally. “You know, like normal people do.”

“No doubt they’re with that Romanoff woman.” Brian sniffed, “You smell like her. You know she’s old enough to be your mother?”

“I don’t have a problem with a December/May romance, especially since our cells age around the same rate. This way I don’t have to worry about losing her so soon.”

Bruce could hear Brian grind his teeth together. “You know that’s never going to happen. Not with your little ‘radiation problem.’ If you don’t outright kill her, you’re probably leaking it through your saliva, your skin, and especially your cum.”

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” Bruce watched his father’s face with amusement. “Did you want to make sure that I didn’t kill my girlfriend through some sort of radiation exposure?”

Brian tried to cross his arms over his chest, rattling the chains awkwardly as he did. “Is it so shocking that I still give a damn about you?”

Bruce chuckled, “Isn’t it a little late for the concern and the sex talk, Dad?” He shook his head at the audacity of this small man whom he used to fear, but now, staring at him, Bruce almost blanked out on why. “Not that it was needed, but that is one of the reasons why Stark and I repurposed some of my previous research. Now, we have some convenient little pills the team takes to prevent any sort of radiation poisoning. Really though, it’s mainly because we walk into all kinds of dangerous areas, and they’re precautionary, like vitamins or flu shots.” Brian looked at him suspiciously. “You see, Pop, I restarted the research for my own selfish reasons since I had similar fears, but now the treatment can be used for people who need to go into radiation contaminated areas for extended periods of time or those who suffer exposure due to a nuclear meltdown, for example. We’re giving a presentation on this and some other research at the International Science Symposium next week.”

“Good for you,” Brian said begrudgingly. “Yet, how predictable that it took a woman to ‘inspire’ you to do something worthwhile.”

Bruce snorted, “I suppose you expect me to trot out my résumé for your approval, Dad? It would have to be the abbreviated version since Tony, Natasha, and I tend to make as many weapons together as we do other breakthroughs. We and the R&D Division make a pretty good team.” Bruce smiled confidently again. Talking about Nat tended to make him do that. Bruce’s comm came to life in his ear, _Push him further. There’s something more._ Just Nat’s voice helped steady any anger he needed to keep in check.

“So, just out of curiosity, Dad, why do you care about how much radiation I put out during certain ‘activities’?” The old man continued to glower at him stonely. “Sounds a little salacious to me. Why would you of all people care if I endanger a loved one since you’re the monster who murdered my mother and then tried to get me to lie about it?” Bruce’s eyes flashed green as he remembered. “I certainly didn’t learn any tender, sentimental lessons from you.”

“Excuse me! I thought you might appreciate some of my insights, son. I believe I know how to separate the man from the Monster. You could finally be normal, a real human. Maybe even live up to your potential and be the scientist I know you can be and not some lackey living off that pretender Stark’s generosity,” the old man spat with bitter jealousy.

Bruce stared at him unblinkingly for a few moments, taking in the depth and scope of his father’s rage. “What makes you think I want to separate myself from Hulk?”

The older scientist looked genuinely shocked, “Why wouldn’t you? That’s all I’ve ever wanted was to remove the taint, the monstrosity from you, boy. Since you were a toddler and displayed this . . . freakishness, it’s been my responsibility to root it out, crush it, and keep it from infecting the world. Once you’re free of the monster, we can cure your mind. Your mother could never see how dangerous you are when left to your own devices!”

“How dare you even speak of her,” Bruce said in a low dark voice.

Brian leaned forward, straining against the chains that held him. “She was going to take you away and let your contamination loose on the world.” He tried to stand and fell back into the chair. “Rebecca defied me! I had no choice but to stop both of you. Now, we can correct my mistake and separate you from this disease, Bruce! I could help you do this.”

Bruce shook his head, “I spent two years on another planet as Hulk. He’s not what you think he is. We both love Natasha and Natasha loves us, no matter what. That’s something you never understood. You’re the only real monster in this family. It’s always been you, Dad.”

The old man ground his teeth. “You’re wrong. I’m not going to let you . . .”

“Anything else, Dad? I’m not going to stick around and play mind games while you try to get me to sink to your level.”

Brian snorted, “‘Cause you’re such a perfect Angel with your perfect friends and a lover who’d just as soon stick a knife in you as look at you. You’re not going to have a happy ending.”

“Compared to you?” Bruce laughed and stood up. He’d heard enough. “That’s sweet.”

The older man jerked against his restraints, “Like it or not, you little monster, eventually, you will lose control and kill your precious spy.”

Bruce smiled down at him, and his father watched his eyes flash green, “No, WE won’t.” Bruce tossed his empty cup in the trash can, turned his head from side to side, and rolled his shoulders to loosened them up with a very Hulk-like gesture.

Brian jerked against the shackles furiously. “You think I don’t know what you’re doing?! You stay away from her, you mistake, you mutant! You should not be together. All you’re going to do is make more monsters like yourselves!”

Bruce pulled on his leather jacket, letting his father struggle until he was actually frothing a bit at the mouth. “It’s been nice seeing you, Dad. I’ll be sure to give Natasha your regards.”

“Listen to me! You don’t even know. You’re not human. Her blood, I tested it. I’m trying to save the world from you both and your spawn!” The old man couldn’t believe Bruce wasn’t reacting as he’d expected. This couldn’t be happening! He knew how to put this brat in his place! “I have connections and they will take you all out! You hear me?! You will have no one! You deserve no one! No love! No friends! Run all you want. I will find you!”

As he calmly folded his glasses and slipped them into a breast pocket, Bruce looked down at the sputtering, shrunken old man in institutional scrubs and thin slippers. “At one point, I would have agreed with you, Pop. Let me make this clear, you are a pathetic wastrel of a man who’s always been insanely jealous of his own son. Before I was out of first grade, it was clear I surpassed you in raw intelligence. Most fathers would have been proud and nurtured their child’s gifts and talents. Most fathers would have loved their child whether or not he had those things going for him. Now, grow the fuck up.” Bruce’s eyes flashed green again for a moment and he leaned down close in his father’s face and almost whispered, “Continue to spy on me or my friends, and I’ll show you what a proper beating is, and I won’t need any help from a friend, green or otherwise.” The younger Banner straightened back up. “I’m not scared of you anymore, old man. You’re not my Boogeyman. However, I can be yours. It seems only fair . . .  or would you prefer Natasha? I’m sure she’d enjoy the role. She hasn’t let loose in a while, not in that way.” Bruce walked to the door, “Have a good day, Dad.” The orderlies stood aside and opened the door, so the Avenger could walk straight out into the hall.

Brian Banner sat stunned and breathing hard in his shackles. He’d played every card he had. Pushed every button. Opened every scarred wound possible. He’d expected to be able to bully and browbeat his son into anger and tears. He’d hoped to get to his inner monster, so Ross’s cohorts would have a justifiable excuse to take Bruce and maybe even his little red-headed assassin into custody. That clearly hadn’t happened. The old man’s thoughts were crashing forward faster than an out of control locomotive. What had happened to his cowering son? Did being with that Romanoff woman make him stronger or had he found his own backbone? What was going on? He’d played the boy like always and pushed every damn button. Hell, he’d installed those triggers there long ago himself to bring him down. What the hell had happened? Somehow he’d lost control. How the hell would he get it back now!?!?

~*~

As Bruce walked down the tiled hallway, he pulled the comm from his shirt collar and pocketed it. He signed out at the front desk and nodded his thanks to the former S.H.I.E.L.D. operative he recognized behind the counter.

“Everything go okay, Dr. Banner?” the mature woman with a streak of gray in her brown hair asked.

“Same ol’ Dad, Mrs. Fischer,” he said with a shrug.

She shook her head a little sadly, “We’ll do our best to keep him out of trouble then. As his legal guardian, you can petition the facility's medical review panel to have him put back on his medication if you think that would make a difference.”

“No, that just turned him into a zombie last time. He didn’t even know who he was or how to feed himself. I wouldn’t wish that on him again. Either way, medications alone won’t fix him until he realizes he’s what’s broken.”

The woman nodded, “I understand.” She looked over his shoulder and through the glass doors at the parking lot and smiled knowingly. “Looks like your ride’s here, Doctor.”

Bruce grinned and waved good-bye. “Thank you!”

“It’s about time, Doc,” Natasha drawled with an easy smile as she sat waiting on the back of her Harley-Davidson LiveWire.

“Well, did you nail his ‘connections’?” Bruce asked as she handed him his helmet. “I think the point of his wanting me out here was to set me off, so Ross’s goons could haul me in and trump something up.” Bruce shook his head, “The old man really doesn’t understand that the Big Guy feels the same way I do. He murdered our mother. Neither of us will ever forgive that old fool or give him what he wants. On that, Hulk and I are in complete agreement.”

Natasha gave her beloved a hug and held him close for a moment. “I knew you could both handle him. I’m sure the guys will tell us about the accomplices later. First, you owe me a dinner date,” Nat reminded him.

Bruce put on his helmet, swung his leg over the back of the sleek black motorcycle and settled comfortably onto the leather seat behind her. Natasha hit the ignition then the accelerator to the electric machine, and he wrapped his arms around her, ready for any adventure she might choose to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! No promises on when the next one will be. We do run on encouragement though. =D
> 
> Btw, the covers/collages for these are over on my Pinterest board "My Bruce x Natasha Edits" if you're curious.


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